The Effects of Depression

You once promised me a world
of candlelight dinner
What happened to the man who of
my heart was the winner?
Roses so sweet on the table
to find
What turned your soul so dark
and unkind?

I can still see you in there
beneath the sorrow and pain
In a cell dark and dismal
full of thunder and rain
A child hidden
from sunlight
Is there end
to your dreary night?

You need to make me believe
you still love me
The love I feel
I wish you could see
speak to me with your heart
tell me how you feel
Only then, my precious,
can I help you heal

A Poem

The rain is falling outside as it is in my heart tonight.
The memories of you and me together no longer shine so bright.
As we walk this road apart you vow there's no turning back.
My heart cries out to stop you but still your possesions away I pack.

I sit and reflect why you could never hold me tight,
And how I cried and was alone on so many a dreary night.
Your life is taking you down a long, dark road that I'm too scared to follow.
I'm tired of the pain of your empty stares that make me feel so hollow.

I long for sunshine and brighter days, a heart as light as a feather.
No more storms and heart breaks through which I have to weather.
Your rejection of me is a hard, cold pill to swallow.
But in self-pity, I no longer allow myself to wallow.

Aquarium Fish

My life is like that of
an aquarium fish
Trapped, in a tank, with no
way to get out on my own
Feeling the need to explore the
vast oceans, just out of reach
I'm always swimming around
and around in circles
All the people I meet are just
like aquarium fish too
Some are bright and lively, and
some are dark and dull

Daddy's Girl

I remember sitting at the front
of the boat
peering down into the dark
cloudy water
looking for some lost treasure
that only a six year old would enjoy
You were sitting in the back
fishing pole in hand
Constantly telling me to be quiet
not to rock the boat
The whole day went by
it's just a blur in my memory now
But I remember how much
fun I had
Just to have you to myself
for a day

Dad

The sand felt so warm under my
feet. I played on the little island
while you fished, lost in and
imaginary world.
Soon you decide that it’s time to
move on. We climb back in the
boat and float for hours. At
the time I thought it was
boring, but now I’d do anything to
do that again.
The last few years I’ve been so
mean and selfish, I pushed everyone
away, including you, who use to
be so close.
I know I use to say that it bored
me, and sometimes it did, but
I loved being with you, and
I’d do anything to have that back, Dad.

Shelter

There is a place beyond a young
man’s wildest dreams.
A place where man has no eyes,
for there is nothing to see.
Where man has no ears,
for there is nothing to hear.
Where man has no mouth,
for there is nothing to speak.
In this place man has no body,
But still the heart, soul, and mind can exist.
This is not Heaven, yet it is not Hell.
And man does not question it,
for he can not speak.
Here there is no love,
for there is no one to love.
But yet there is no hate,
for there is no one to hate.
Here is only one,
But yet here are all.
There is no past,
Only the present.
There are not days,
But there are no nights.
And you are not dead,
But yet, not still alive.
You are one being,
Alone, but with others.
Unable to call out,
But they know you are there.
There is only acceptance to
What is to come.
-1991

Miles Apart

So many miles apart
Every night I cry
Grief tearing at my heart
Tears fall from my eyes
Memories of yesterday
When we were together
And the things you’d say
I’ll love you forever