Hiding in my room tonight
Crying
Like I'm a child
Praying for light
Flashes of red
Screaming
Like I'm insane
Hitting the bed
Ignoring what happened
Denying
Like I can't see
My spirit dampened
Offering a deal
Begging
Like a pauper
Yearning to heal
Trying to give blame
Wondering
Like it's my fault
Ending the game
Life moving on
Accepting
Like I give up
Knowing you're gone
*when my Mom passed away (12 years ago this month) we had a very nice chaplain come to the room and explain the grieving process to us. There are 5 accepted stages to grieving (I consider it to be 6 when you add depression/sadness into the mix), in no particular order: Anger, guilt, denial, bargaining, and acceptance.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Moving On
You walked out the door
I fell to the floor
I cried for you on my knees
Time to move on
Time to get strong
Time to look out for me
You beat me down
You made me frown
You broke every thread in my heart
Time to move on
Time to get strong
Time to look out for me
I fell to the floor
I cried for you on my knees
Time to move on
Time to get strong
Time to look out for me
You beat me down
You made me frown
You broke every thread in my heart
Time to move on
Time to get strong
Time to look out for me
Go hide in her arms
Go hide in her arms
because you feel bad
about what you did to me
Go hide in her arms
because you don't want
to face reality
Go hide in her arms
so you can forget
how you felt
Go hide in her arms
to forget the hand
that you dealt
Go hide in her arms
because she makes
you feel all right
Go hide in her arms
but she can only
ease your night
because you feel bad
about what you did to me
Go hide in her arms
because you don't want
to face reality
Go hide in her arms
so you can forget
how you felt
Go hide in her arms
to forget the hand
that you dealt
Go hide in her arms
because she makes
you feel all right
Go hide in her arms
but she can only
ease your night
The Calling
Looking upon nobility of the sea
Ebbing tide whispers
Follow me…follow me
Life's course has been set for me
Seagulls cry
Break free…break free
Thoughtful now I can't turn to flee
Buoy holds tight
Let me be…let me be
My savior has set me free
Steady pier
Just for me…just for me
Ebbing tide whispers
Follow me…follow me
Life's course has been set for me
Seagulls cry
Break free…break free
Thoughtful now I can't turn to flee
Buoy holds tight
Let me be…let me be
My savior has set me free
Steady pier
Just for me…just for me
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Hidden (unfinished)
Look what I found in your pocket tonight
It's not meant for me or for my sight
What does she give you that I can't compare
All I get is your empty stare
I gave you a world of comfort and love
Now I send prayers up to heaven above
Let me be wrong please don't be lost
Leave her alone I'm worth that cost
You lied when you said never again
You don't realize I know where you've been
It's not meant for me or for my sight
What does she give you that I can't compare
All I get is your empty stare
I gave you a world of comfort and love
Now I send prayers up to heaven above
Let me be wrong please don't be lost
Leave her alone I'm worth that cost
You lied when you said never again
You don't realize I know where you've been
My Fear
What I fear is that this is who you've always been
That my shattered dream will break our hearts again
Looking back I wonder who you ever were
Are my memories of you just my selfish blur?
Do my dreams inmpose on my reality?
Am I seeing you in totality?
Are you just an illusion of my heart?
Did I ever know you from the start?
I tried so hard not to lose our connection
Not realizing it was your heart that needed protection
You tried to push me away but didn't know how
To make me leave without breaking your vow
Was I a fool to believe you were my destiny?
To expect you to have the best in me?
I gave my heart waiting for you to find mine
Refusing to see in your resistance a sign
That my shattered dream will break our hearts again
Looking back I wonder who you ever were
Are my memories of you just my selfish blur?
Do my dreams inmpose on my reality?
Am I seeing you in totality?
Are you just an illusion of my heart?
Did I ever know you from the start?
I tried so hard not to lose our connection
Not realizing it was your heart that needed protection
You tried to push me away but didn't know how
To make me leave without breaking your vow
Was I a fool to believe you were my destiny?
To expect you to have the best in me?
I gave my heart waiting for you to find mine
Refusing to see in your resistance a sign
Discouraging Sublimity
Every act an altruistic one
Denying myself both comfort and fun
Just a lost soul with an amenable touch
Using you as an emotional crutch
Feeling the upsetting of my mind
Breaking my heart to be unkind
Surrendering to submission
With my soul in opposition
Doomed to an esoteric existance
I'll always keep my distance
Rarely suffering from enmity
I'm not content in anonmity
Hardly valiant and rarely vane
I struggle to keep my voices sane
With intuition that's seldom wrong
Turning vehmemence into song
I smother the sublimity of my mind
Which keeps me in a torturous bind
Quick to believe slow to forget
Trusting has been my biggest regret
Denying myself both comfort and fun
Just a lost soul with an amenable touch
Using you as an emotional crutch
Feeling the upsetting of my mind
Breaking my heart to be unkind
Surrendering to submission
With my soul in opposition
Doomed to an esoteric existance
I'll always keep my distance
Rarely suffering from enmity
I'm not content in anonmity
Hardly valiant and rarely vane
I struggle to keep my voices sane
With intuition that's seldom wrong
Turning vehmemence into song
I smother the sublimity of my mind
Which keeps me in a torturous bind
Quick to believe slow to forget
Trusting has been my biggest regret
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