Impassioned Versifier

Tough Love

2011-03-30T20:22:00.001-05:00

I’m not gone I’m still right here

Whispering love in your ear

Praying still you’ll find your way

Find an end to games they play

You won’t like the road I take

But it’s all done for your sake

Protect your life is my goal

As you wonder, a lost soul

When you find your self again

Then my help you will obtain

Until then I wish you well

And quick relief from this hell

Reflections

2011-01-09T23:26:00.000-06:00

She can’t be too careful anymore,

Her memories have opened up that door.

Watching the tide bury her castle,

Wasted dreams are now just a hassle.

Who she once was when she ruled the world,

That girl is gone, reality unfurled.

Demons in the people she has met,

Subdued emotion, hearts do forget

A bitter thought will eventually melt,

After all the suffering is dealt.

Time to build new castles in the sand,

Learn from the past, take time by the hand.

Spiritual

2010-11-21T22:37:00.001-06:00

I thought of love in its glory

How each of us has a story

I thought of awe and thought of grace

Survival of the human race

And so it came I thought real hard

Of birds and trees in the yard

Of what it was that gave us life

And gave us strength in our strife

I pondered on many things

Of promises and wedding rings

Of how it is we know He’s there

The change we sense in the air

I felt a warmth begin to spread

It filled my soul from toe to head

I yearned to stay within that light

And so I prayed and said good night

Smoke

2010-11-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

It’s all just smoke and mirrors

The way you disguise your fears

What you keep hidden from yourself

Keeps love unattainable atop a shelf

Your mind recalls it’s photograph

Of every time you made her laugh

Can you see clearly through your daze

While hiding behind that blackened haze

She caught you peeking in her soul

Wondering if she could make you whole

Instead of fanning that smoldering flame

You choose to hide in billowy shame

Take the chance and build a fire

Make it known your secret desire

She has faith in what you do

Clear the smoke and believe it too

Shadows

2010-10-24T22:55:00.000-05:00

Something lurks beneath the bright

It shies away from the light

Peripheral image that can’t be seen

What can that phantom visual mean?

Sense the dark as it closes in

Suffocates like a hidden sin

Run to a meadow open and free

Take a moment to breathe and see

The sun was shining just last week

Now the sky seems cold and bleak

Oh won’t the sun come out and play

Chase the shadows and gloom away

Dry

2010-10-17T23:44:00.001-05:00

The wind blows through the Sahara of my mind
I'm reaching out but now your love's gone blind
It took so long to reach my heart's turning point
Now it lies in your hands not to disappoint

My garden is ready now to grow and bloom
The weeds have died and my heart has made room
Please don't say your love is withered and dry
Let's tend our flowers and let our love grow high

Odd Angle

2010-10-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

You may say that I'm a cynic
that I should visit a clinic
or maybe that I judge too much
but sadly life has made it such

Maybe I'm a little jaded
Personality has faded
But it's what's hidden deep inside
that I can't continue to hide

Perhaps I'm more aware these days
overly cautious with my ways
To watch a world falling apart
It's time now for a brand new start

Fast

2010-10-04T09:23:00.000-05:00

Time seemed slow
as the years flew past
Now I struggle
to make memories last

For all I've fought
and little I've won
My heart still seeks
a golden sun

Someday soon
it will all work out
In my heart
there's little doubt

Embracing time
as it flies by
Not taking time
to sit and cry

I welcome time
to heal our hearts
And set us off
to better starts

Quickly now
time can speed
To bring us closure
we all need

Walls Against Hope

2010-09-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

Hope is a diabolical trade
it sets the heart and soul to be played
a chance for broken dreams to be filled
compromising the soul to be killed

If I told you how I felt today
would you take those thoughts and run away
or would you stay to comfort my heart
and give me reason to trust our start

The music sounds different to my soul
there's part of you that makes me whole
If my heart trusts to reveal that thought
would the fulfillment be all I've sought

Walls against hope are in our nature
keep us from rising up in stature
Secret desires, wishes to fill
to let them out is a bitter pill

Lightened

2010-09-13T10:43:00.000-05:00

Place your light around me
and light my darker days
Let your peace surround me
and forever guide my ways

When it was dark you came before me
a distraction from myself
Reminding me to live again
putting problems on the shelf

Let your peace surround me
and fill my heart with love
Let your guidance strengthen
like an angel from above

Food For Thought

2010-08-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

Rich and creamy French silk pie
Makes me glisten with devilish eye
Perhaps an apple for my health
Wise choice yes, but not for wealth
Maybe celery to trim me down
Without peanut butter makes me frown
Popcorn then my snack shall be
But alas, none on the shelf I see
Crackers then will be my way
Hope they last me through the day…

A Thought on Silence

2010-08-23T10:13:00.001-05:00

Not every moment needs to be filled
Solid connection we quietly build

No words need expressed
Nothing needs addressed

Content calm fills the air
In it I hear you care

Silhouette

2010-08-22T22:18:00.001-05:00

This is just an outline
Of what the future holds
This is just a shadow
Withholding cuts or folds

Wipe away the cobwebs
And insecurities
Wipe away distractions
And fight obscurities

Paths

2010-08-09T12:43:00.000-05:00

Two paths we could go love
Two roads we could follow
One leads us to warmth love
Where hearts don’t feel hallow

Lead me gently my love
Down the road we travel
Strengthen ties that bind love
Never to unravel

We could part the road love
For one taken before
Nursing broken hearts love
Forever close that door

That’s not what I want love
That distance from your heart
Hold me in your arms love
Even when we’re apart

A Random Chat Revisited **

2010-07-05T08:35:00.000-05:00

Shopping at the market today
My mind engaged in wondrous play

Four apples, apples, on a stick
Egg plant, egg plant, won’t make me sick

My old friend from the park bench day
Stopped me with a few words to say

“I loved him once you know,” she said
“My heart no longer fills with dread”

“I’ve learned to simply let him go
My quest for love no longer show”

“My coltish days of youth are gone”
And from the ash emerged a swan

“My heart fills tender at the thought
Of what it was I hadn’t sought”

“I’m reminded now love’s slow burn
A real connection at every turn”

“Tender love with no childish games
No high emotion, hidden shames”

She tossed an apple in her cart
Turned her hips with intent to part

“Our hearts are growing as we age
Turning us from student to sage”

So many loves has this one known
In search of love her desires hone

I should take lecture from her past
Not accept the role which I’m cast

Explore each love when it’s new
Be open to the one that’s true

And so I go about my life
A tranquil heart without due strife

Until we chance to meet again
I’ll ponder her heart’s loss and gain

** This poem is the second part to a poem I wrote in November 2008, From a Random Visit

Still Life

2010-06-28T09:56:00.000-05:00

In this still life
No one to understand
In this still life
No one to hold your hand

In this still life
We walk the road alone
In this still life
We walk to dust and bone

Our broken foundation
In this still life
Searching for salvation
In this still life

Colorful

2010-06-20T23:39:00.001-05:00

Brighter thoughts fill the mind
Happiness feels sublime
Heartstrings begin to bind

Pink of admiration
Journey to destination
Welcome inspiration

Passion red fills the soul
Overflowing empty hole
Giving back what it stole

Yellow hope of sunshine
Making clouds worth our time
Every sunset feels fine

Blue of clear brighter sky
Natural love flying high
Take a deep breathe and sigh

Lavender enchantment
Whispers of contentment
Dancing with enthrallment

World becoming rainbow
Sets complexion aglow
As warmth and feeling flow

Painting With Light

2010-06-07T14:28:00.001-05:00

Oh the ache
and cold of the dark
A searing pain
has left it’s mark

Gloomy days with
impending doom
Lead us toward our
eventual tomb

Wait for the light
to paint the sky
Raise my spirits
and hopes to fly

Cradle my heart
in His warm hands
With promise of
happier lands

Holding a Memory (camera pan & blur)

2010-05-24T10:32:00.000-05:00

Panning through my memories
The sharpness has lost its edge
Trying to hold those moments
Poised precariously on the ledge

The emotions cause a turmoil
As they blur the happy past
They bring me to that moment
When I knew it wouldn’t last

A photographic picture
From the camera of my mind
Tells my past and present
And the memories that bind

Leading Line

2010-05-17T06:20:00.000-05:00

No come-ons were needed
You peeked into my soul
We saw each other clearly
And made each other whole

No empty promises spoken
No need to ask for more
No dangers lurking in the dark
Only what fate had in store

I need a come on now
To let me know it's fine
A word of reassurance
Or my heart for you will pine

Rule of Thirds

2010-04-24T22:19:00.002-05:00

It’s just us three
Same as always
Even with four

We talk we laugh
We cry we smile
We always share

Someday she will
Grow up and leave
Down to two-thirds

Some time with him
And he will fly
One-third alone

Two thirds always
Have one-third watch
Throughout their lives

Long Exposure

2010-04-19T09:07:00.000-05:00

The bones ache from a long cold frost
the flowers wilt and whither
a tear glistens on her frozen face
no fire to beckon hither
desolate, forsaken, out of place
the heart has lost it’s dream

Shall she awaken from this dream
to find her world blanketed in frost
rocking in this forgotten place
where beauty will fade and whither
not a sole to motion hither
would there be confusion upon her face

A close glance upon her face
reveals her captive dream
to laugh and call him hither
and melt the frost
and no longer whither
to finally escape this place

Time has no bearing on this place
It holds the demons she must face
Her choice to live, love, or whither
to lose her dream
to bitter frost
or to let the warmth come hither

Searching for hope to draw her hither
an escape to a happier place
no threat of frost
on her lovely face
her hope gives birth to every new dream
letting the old ones die and whither

Never let her spirit whither
to love she must come hither
replace a shattered dream
make her world a happy place
let joy alight her face
and warm her heart to frost

Lest we let the dream whither
Melt the frost and call her hither
Bring happiness to her place and joy upon her face

Symmetry & Patterns

2010-04-12T10:50:00.000-05:00

See the parallels in our lives
Lines drawn in to the sands of time
Running forever side by side
Just like a perfect worded rhyme
From pain to sad to glad and joy
We’re all alike more than we think
Foundations in stone bind our hearts
Just open our minds to that link

Macro

2010-04-05T10:48:00.000-05:00

With tendency to over think
And analyze the motives
We watch our world slowly shrink
And stress hit like locomotives

Signs

2010-03-28T21:43:00.000-05:00

Follow the signs of your heart
They tell me that way’s better
Tissues falling to the floor
It seems the way that’s wetter

Follow the signs of your Lord
And forever walk in grace
I followed true and faithful
The devil stepped up his pace

Follow the signs of your soul
Peace in your days will follow
Wary the dangers lie below
Try not to think too shallow

Follow the signs of your pulse
Trust you won’t break asunder
Rainbows fade to pouring rain
Leading to days of thunder

Follow them all not on their own
To glorious days ahead
Trust the signs calling to you
Allow yourself to be led

Motion

2010-03-22T09:57:00.000-05:00

The tenderness you want to convey
Revealed itself in your words today
It beckons me to come out to play
But lingers for you to lead the way

Why don’t you put your plan in motion
And show me your secure devotion
Seduce my mind with romantic notion
Your signal is that magic potion

Explore Ourselves

2010-03-15T05:56:00.000-05:00

An escape from complacency let’s explore our world
unseen corners, hidden pulses, and wild streams un-purled

Discover riches in ourselves let our impulse flow
And share the depths of our hearts that seldom do we show

Venture a path not oft taken freedom be our way
Open recesses of our minds and let come what may

Springtime Haiku

2010-03-08T10:33:00.000-06:00

Melting snow forms pools
Warmer days cause happy thought
Green grass from wet ground

Self Portrait

2010-03-01T10:10:00.000-06:00

A rose
yearning to be a daisy
vulnerable and
open for the world to see

Glass
shattered into pieces
broken, mended
brought together in new form

Steel
smooth and resistant
with scars
damaged but still strong

Sunlight
full of hope
warming souls
joy with simple pleasure

Out of Focus

2010-02-22T12:20:00.000-06:00

The future’s a blur
and rather hazy
Energy gone
and feeling lazy

The edge is gone
turned to soft gray
Watching the hours
pass away the day

Adventure

2010-02-15T15:10:00.000-06:00

Let’s skip a stone on the pond
And run the forest wild
Have a sword fight in the woods
And fight the king so viled

Build a clubhouse in the tree
And mighty dragons slay
Lay in the meadow to watch the clouds
And pass away our day

Let’s push the limits of our minds
And spill our hearts desire
Play in the spirit of our youth
And pray we never tire

Framing

2010-02-08T13:00:00.000-06:00

A social theory of interpretation
It helps us along in communication

Reference points making up our lives
Fitting together till every piece jives

Outline of who we believe we are
Continually makes us raise our bar

Compare our lives to what we know
Fitting our frames to friend and foe

Plants

2010-01-29T22:42:00.002-06:00

As bee and butterfly flit through the green
Amid a summer day
On a rose flying-beauty paused to preen
While bee begins to play

The garden sways gently to the breeze
It’s rustle fills the air
Aroma and beauty with aim to please
A sensual gift so rare

People

2010-01-22T13:34:00.001-06:00

The world wants lovers never pain
To dance in sunshine without rain
Our very nature will cause a rift
Away from Eden we slowly drift

Human nature a cunning score
Breaks the heart whom we adore
For want of love unconditioned
Search the world for our rendition

Young love will often never last
For inner tensions we are cast
Still we search for a kindred soul
A companionship to make us whole

Personal Challenge

2010-01-22T13:30:00.003-06:00

I am taking on a new personal challenge, hoping that it will force me to make time for my writing. You can read about it over at my other blog The Randomness in My Mind.

Soothing

2010-01-21T13:49:00.001-06:00

I know things aren’t quite what they seem
And I see you building up her dream
Lay down now in the bed that you made
As I watch your memory fade

A liberating sense of glory
In not telling her your life story
Let her believe what you’ll say
Let her decide how long she’ll stay

Don’t remember me when she’s gone
When she figures out she’s your pawn
I have the strength to let you go
To reap the seeds you must sow

Jealousy won’t return my heart
I’m off the road you always start
You’ve pushed the limit of your game
My heart’s no longer yours to maim

For Want Of

2010-01-02T23:56:00.002-06:00

A random discontent
In my body and my mind
I want to feel something more
My heart instead is blind

Wandering through my days
No purpose in my gait
No need to plan the future
Silently still I wait

Pacing through my mind
For something to stir my soul
Something more is out there
Something to make me whole

My Call

2009-11-15T11:19:00.001-06:00

What’s my call but a vessel
A witness in retrospect
But with myself I wrestle
A victim to circumspect

Angels on high gathered round me
And sang me their golden word
Their love and strength to lift me
Till my soul soared like a bird

Emotional Rollercoaster

2009-11-12T20:23:00.001-06:00

Backwards, sideways, and upside down
Should make me smile, instead I frown

Loops and corkscrews, gaining speed
One gives attention, the other I need

Rising high to spiral down
In my heart I slowly drown

Slowing now to catch a breath
Love is languid surly death

Drop again from fearful height
Which path of heart leads to right

Turn and twist a sudden course
Awaiting knight on gilded horse

Easing in to end the chase
Neither one will win the race

Reflection on a Summer Day

2009-11-10T20:47:00.002-06:00

Mine feet were firm
- upon the ground
When He coaxed my gaze
- toward His mighty crown

Those troubled clouds
- caught my eye
And welled in me
- the need to cry

Drifting silent
- through somber sky
The breeze let loose
- her siren’s sigh

I gazed ahead
- as sun broke through
It warmed my blood
- with reverence true

'neath the mulberry tree

2009-11-06T00:04:00.003-06:00

RIP Felony the Feline Felon

Always faithful by my side
For you my friend today I cried

I’ve buried you ‘neath the mulberry tree
The changing leaves for you to see

I quietly watched you slip away
From my heart you’ll never stray

I’ve buried you ’neath the mulberry tree
The summer flowers for you to see

Struggling to prolong your death
You gave love ’til dying breath

I’ve buried you ’neath the mulberry tree
Our changing lives for you to see

Today my friend I’ve said goodbye
But carry your spirit ‘til I die

I’ve buried you ‘neath the mulberry tree
Ever intertwined in our lives you’ll be

My Muse

2009-11-02T23:22:00.001-06:00

Muse and art an inspiration
Yet to His work dedication
Failing eyes to see His glory
Rendering me to tell His story
In His love I can’t regret
Endless quest to ease our debt
Never fail to raise my spirit
Destiny, I can not fear it

Muse reflects an amazing gift
Yet through my thoughts I must sift
Mental notes flit through my mind
Until of consciousness I’m blind
Silent tears to right our wrongs
Endless prose will fill our songs

Muse in many different type
Yet in vision always ripe
Proof of His ever-lasting love
Owe my work to Him above
Writing in His glorious name
Every verse is not the same
Reveling in this wondrous game

Finding Inspiration

2009-11-01T10:48:00.001-06:00

To be creative I must waste my time
Clear my head and be sublime
Find my muse and set it free
Let the words come in to me
Venture mourning and venture death
Give every word it’s living breath

We

2009-11-01T01:40:00.002-05:00

We

You were
Once mine
Always mine
Never mine again

I was
Always me
Eternally me
Not enough to be

You are
Gone away
Far away
Never going to stay

I am
Set free
Flying free
Open eyes to see

Daydreaming

2009-10-29T12:37:00.001-05:00

I’m going to daydream today
Let my mind wander and play
Of castles and moats
Of pirates and boats
And frolics through the hay

Real knights on white horses
Follow steady true courses
As dragons they slay
To save the dame’s day
And protect her from evil forces

Sestina Challenge** (Turn of Twisted Luck)

2009-06-20T23:15:00.005-05:00

A pretty maid to comb her hair
She sat patiently upon the chair
Not a strand had ever been cut
But this day was to test her luck
Tangled mass waiting for golden shear
Her heart beats fast as scissors near

As scissors hover oh so near
She muses on her golden hair
Which has never touched a shear
Or graced the back of this ugly chair
Pondering on her ill fate luck
And how it was she came to cut

Dreading such a drastic cut
As time closed in fast and near
A different fate was not her luck
Took a knot to sacrifice her hair
To keep her prisoner in this chair
Certain sorrow from golden shear

Cursing the wicked golden shear
She vowed her locks would not be cut
A startled jump to tip her chair
As scissored maiden leaned in near
With all intention to whack the hair
A narrow miss was all her luck

Knot intact was all her luck
She sent sailing the golden shear
That had sight on her lovely hair
But on her cheek she bore a cut
From sharpened blades as they flew near
Caused by leap from cursed chair

On its side the fallen chair
From her turn of twisted luck
Today the clippers won't come near
The knot escapes the mighty shear
Souvenired by jagged cut
In saving the coveted hair

In saving her hair jumped from the chair
Suffered cut from her bad luck
Dodging the shear as it drew near

** After reading sestinas on both Kat and Jay's blogs, I decided to take on the challenge and write my own. While I really appreciate the hard work that goes into writing in this form, I do not particularly enjoy writing them myself. Please be sure to check out the above mentioned blogs for some great writing in a difficult form!

Don't You**

2009-06-20T22:58:00.003-05:00

Don't you know how little I trust
how every relationship bit the dust
Don't you know how I feel safe
in your arms I've learned faith

Don't you see how you're setting me free
opening my heart and mind to be
Don't you see what you've undone
my bitterness and urge to run

Don't you feel my melting heart
my gratefulness for our slow start
Don't you feel how I want you close
like addiction I crave your dose

Don't you guess I could fall in love
with your guidance and little shove
Don't you guess I think your a prince
my failures give you little wince

Don't you quit sweeping me from my feet
or trying to cause my heart to beat
Don't you quit your tender style
making love seem worth while

Don't you agree we have something there
hidden beneath you know I care
Don't you agree you can coax me free
joy and love my heart to see

** This poem came about from a challenge over at Jay's Poetry Blog. Thanks for the inspiration Jay! Please keep posting more challenges!

Moody Lady Spring

2009-04-15T21:49:00.002-05:00

Lady Spring plays a torurous game
day to day weather's not the same
sun last week and snow today
hinders any outdoor play

Wanting signs of budding flowers
brought about by April showers
wishing for the summer heat
sound of thunder can't be beat

A Short Verse

2009-04-06T23:10:00.001-05:00

Think I'm addicted to your attention
That feeling of deep connection

That emotion you inspire deep inside
How I feel I just can't hide

Hearing your day and telling mine
Makes my heart feel sublime

FWD:

2009-03-30T23:43:00.003-05:00

I can do without those vulgar pics
Forwards of tits and old guy dicks
Videos of gross naughty things
And all the obscenity that stuff brings

Society no longer has any class
Sending a pic of some chick's ass
Don't wanna know what you do at night
The stuff they send just ain't right

Take me off your fun joke list
I guess I'm a prude, I don't get the gist
They're all gonna end when they get to me
So don't hit Forward just let me be

New Blog

2009-03-20T23:09:00.001-05:00

Not really sure why I started a new blog
Perhaps the insanities of my mind to log
Check it out and see what you think
Just click below on the highlighted link

The Randomness in My Mind

Our Loss

2009-03-06T13:04:00.003-06:00

Sensing the loss of art
in our culture
and watching the photographic negative
turn to black
How little we know
of what we are
compromising that which
we can't gain back

The creative outpouring
of your soul
sets a banquet
for the medium's feast
An artist's world
is sad indeed
decry I say
that mindless beast!

Warmth of my winter

2009-03-05T15:26:00.000-06:00

He crept to me
like summer thunder
strength
and desire
coursing under

A warm refreshing
spring-time shower
makes me
feel like
an opening flower

Starlit skies of a
cool crisp night
warmth
of his arms
holding me tight

Dance in sunshine
on a cloudy day
tenderness
paving
love’s way

Missing you

2009-03-05T15:25:00.001-06:00

Just to see you
hear your voice
But distance leaves
us little choice
To feel your arms
wrapped into place
To feel the stuble
on your face
To taste the sweetness
of your kiss
Remembering all the
you I miss

Energy felt deep
in your eyes
How I feel
I can’t disguise
You give me calm
I give you strength
To conquer passing
of time’s length

Crying Over Spilled (Chocolate) Milk

2009-02-20T21:58:00.001-06:00

A murderous death to my phone by chocolate
The calculator soon to follow
A murderous fate by milk awaits
Cuz I'd sooner spill than swallow

A cloudy puddle creeps closer still
Electronics about to fry
Scramble and move it all away
So communication doesn't die

A silly lymric reveals my curse
A steady hand escapes me
Or forgetting where I set my cup
It's the best excuse it can be

Melting

2009-02-16T09:39:00.000-06:00

Could walk away
and cut my losses
Before my heart into
the embers he tosses
But I’m drawn to how
he makes me feel
I never thought
desire so real
Close my eyes and
there he is
Waiting to make
me completely his

Thelma & Louise

2009-01-17T21:53:00.005-06:00

Louise a waitress in small town
Not known to be much of a clown
Thelma married without a life
Is miserable as Daryl’s wife

Drive away for weekend retreat
No clue of what fate they’ll meet
Encounter with a macho cad
Turned their weekend from good to bad

A girl cries like that she’s not happy
Keeps the movie from turning sappy
Stop his words and gun him down
Hurry up and get out of town

A hint at Louise’s secret past
Cop with pity wants to help them last
To Mexico they must make haste
Avoiding Texas time to waste

Make a stop to get some money
Thelma finds herself a honey
Sexual awakening for our gal
She learns too late he’s not a pal

Money gone and time running short
To rob a store their last resort
Thelma shows off her new learned skill
Cops closing in armed for the kill

Comic relief in the truck driver
His gestures insult every nine to fiver
Final standoff with obscene man
Set ablaze his rolling gas can

Thelma, Louise in their car sit
Symbolizing fear and grit
A friendship till it’s dying day
That’s something fate can’t take away

* I usually try not to give away my sources of inspiration since I firmly believe that the wonderous thing about poetry is individual interpretation. The inspiration for this piece however, besides the movie, is credited to two fun and amazing artists. The idea originally came from Kat (Poetikat). Knowing that I like the movie My Fair Lady she posted a comment with the link to her poem. The idea was to whittle a movie down to it's essence in rhyme. It sounded like a fun exercise and I spent many days trying out prose for my favorite movies, but I just couldn't find one that I could write about! Until that is, Chris (Photography139) posted a fun picture involving 2 crayfish in a car, that he entitled Thelma & Louise I encourage any of you that write to try this exercise, it was fun and different!

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Happy Birthday Daughter

2009-01-09T12:43:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday Daughter of almost two
From the mother who loves and dotes on you
Let joyful play and endless chatter
Be in your life all that matter

Happy birthday daughter of nearly five
Let long your love remain alive
Silly adventure and endless play
I wish to always fill your day

Happy birthday daughter of mostly ten
I pray for you endless zen
Peaceful play and endless question
Fill your heart with quiet contention

Happy Birthday Daughter of almost twelve
Into womanhood do not yet delve
Remain my child a few years yet
Stave off heart pain and young regret

Happy Birthday Daughter of almost fifteen
With love and compassion, still pristine
Let innocence linger yet another year
Be happy and joyful without any fear

Happy Birthday Daughter in the coming years
Live life strong, without any tears
Turn to your mother or to Lord above
Remain strong always on our love

Wishes

2009-01-09T12:41:00.000-06:00

I wish you could see the damage you’ve done
I wish you could see the tears of your son
I wish for a moment you’d just go away
Let them be children and happily play
I wish everyday I could ease all their pain
Bring forth the sunshine drive away rain
I wish for their safety all thru the day
When the wishes are gone I just stop and pray

My Friend

2008-12-25T03:19:00.002-06:00

I watch you friend revisit the past
Hoping to make those memories last
Chasing that unforgetable ghost
To heal that wound that hurts the most

Look forward friend to brighter days
Don't wander in you heart's decays
I'm here to listen when you need a friend
Don't ever think you've reached the end

I understand too the pain you feel
However different, my pain's still real
Yes, God's love will see us through
But we sometimes need a friend's love too

Merry Christmas

2008-12-22T22:41:00.002-06:00

Christmas upon us as I search for that joy,
that can't be delivered by Santa or toy;
That peace so elusive it's just out of reach,
not the kind that is found relaxed on some beach;
That hope so internal, it's way deep inside,
can only be found when we remember who died;
The love that we give and love we receive,
Is a true gift to us when we sincerely believe.

Could Have

2008-12-01T23:07:00.003-06:00

You could have said hi
Or your final good-bye
Instead of playing your silent game

You could have said hi
But didn’t even try
And I am not taking the blame

You could have said hi
Or continued the lie
Just by whispering my name

You could have said hi
But just let me cry
I’m wondering why you even came

You could have said hi
Or just a sad sigh
To let me know it’s still not the same

From A Random Visit

2008-11-27T20:55:00.002-06:00

A maiden on the park bench sat
So verily I began to chat

Striking beauty and heart of gold
I wondered loudly how she grew old

"I married once, you know," she said
"the rejection of his heart I bled"

She tossed a laugh and crossed her brow
"Never again, that was my vow"

"Unless a love was perfect whole
marriage would never be my goal"

"Instead I loved far and wide
Never assenting to be a bride"

"One I loved for his sweet kisses
but integrity this man misses"

"Two was for his moral side
but his sense of humor I couldn't bide"

"Three and four were of the scholar type
who brushed me off with an easy swipe"

"Five was artist simple and pure
with a soul as tortured as mine I'm sure"

I went about my busy day
pondering all she had to say

Now my life craves something more
But what it was I wasn't sure

A connection that answers every dream
isn't possible or so it'd seem

So onward with the endless quest
to find the love that fits me best

Play Ball

2008-11-27T20:47:00.003-06:00

'Tis ball season and the house is a mess
I'm a terrible housekeeper, that I'll confess
Though not lack of trying, I'm up til all hours
Cleats on the stairs and books make fine towers

The laundry that's not to be folded today
is piled to the rafters and there it'll stay
Dishes in sink stacked all a clutter
is more than enough to make a mom mutter

Three strikes and six more innings to go
then maybe my overgrown yard I can mow
Put off the chores to watch the kids grow
I hope they'll remember how I loved them so

A response to Emily

2008-09-18T11:31:00.000-05:00

You had the right idea Ms Dickinson,
to love and pine
from afar
Away from society's close speculation
and
over inundation
that would rather
keep you in their jar.

Ms. Dickinson,
you write so often
of the rise
and fall of love
But should it so alter
I wonder
when we do falter
or can it not
boost us up and above

Oh my dear Ms. Dickinson,
your era
reminds me
when man was a gent
even after
woman's relent
and loved her
for endlessly

You had the right idea Ms. Dickinson,
to flee society
to live in perfect peace
to not let them in
All over
again
and to let their rumors
eventually cease

Agoraphobia

2008-09-14T21:30:00.001-05:00

Some days it’s all I can do not to run back to my house,
To lock all the doors,
To keep the world out and my self safe.

I like interacting with people
To a point
I like visiting and chatting

I just don’t feel safe
Unless I am here
Locked in with the world locked out

Or with a close friend
That will protect me
From all the evil unseen imagined terrors

I used to be so confident
I knew I was safe
Until safety was taken from me

I fight this feeling
With everything I’ve got
I do not want to be it’s victim

The Words

2008-05-13T07:32:00.000-05:00

I don't write the poetry
It speaks the words itself
I think of all the verses lost
Because I put them on the shelf

Everyday comes a new line
A thought which needs explored
I often sit and wonder
Do they come because I'm bored

The Seduction of Perdition

2008-05-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

How sneaky and underhanded
The shallow beast;
Pity the damsel that follows

It illusions a world of
Laughter and riches;
And leaves her wandering the hallows

It influences the heart and
Bewilders the mind;
The lady falls for her beast

The demon subtly shifts
It's heart to black;
The damsel suspecting the least

The lies unfold and the beast
Is caught;
His maiden now on fire

With pacified words he calms
Her heart;
She wonders if he's a liar

His dance resumes with
An easy beat;
The lady's heart is calm

The repulsive beast
Raises the heat;
His maiden now in his palm

The devil captures and
Twists the mind;
The damsel feels her will break

Excitement and evil course through
His veins;
The lady's soul he shall take

Heed my warning or
You will be next;
A damsel doomed to his dance

Open your eyes to the
Evil surrounds;
To break free your only chance

Grieving*

2008-03-03T05:07:00.000-06:00

Hiding in my room tonight
Crying
Like I'm a child
Praying for light

Flashes of red
Screaming
Like I'm insane
Hitting the bed

Ignoring what happened
Denying
Like I can't see
My spirit dampened

Offering a deal
Begging
Like a pauper
Yearning to heal

Trying to give blame
Wondering
Like it's my fault
Ending the game

Life moving on
Accepting
Like I give up
Knowing you're gone

*when my Mom passed away (12 years ago this month) we had a very nice chaplain come to the room and explain the grieving process to us. There are 5 accepted stages to grieving (I consider it to be 6 when you add depression/sadness into the mix), in no particular order: Anger, guilt, denial, bargaining, and acceptance.

Moving On

2008-03-03T05:02:00.000-06:00

You walked out the door
I fell to the floor
I cried for you on my knees

Time to move on
Time to get strong
Time to look out for me

You beat me down
You made me frown
You broke every thread in my heart

Time to move on
Time to get strong
Time to look out for me

Go hide in her arms

2008-03-03T04:57:00.000-06:00

Go hide in her arms
because you feel bad
about what you did to me
Go hide in her arms
because you don't want
to face reality
Go hide in her arms
so you can forget
how you felt
Go hide in her arms
to forget the hand
that you dealt
Go hide in her arms
because she makes
you feel all right
Go hide in her arms
but she can only
ease your night

The Calling

2008-03-03T04:51:00.000-06:00

Looking upon nobility of the sea
Ebbing tide whispers
Follow me…follow me

Life's course has been set for me
Seagulls cry
Break free…break free

Thoughtful now I can't turn to flee
Buoy holds tight
Let me be…let me be

My savior has set me free
Steady pier
Just for me…just for me

Hidden (unfinished)

2008-02-09T07:36:00.000-06:00

Look what I found in your pocket tonight
It's not meant for me or for my sight
What does she give you that I can't compare
All I get is your empty stare

I gave you a world of comfort and love
Now I send prayers up to heaven above
Let me be wrong please don't be lost
Leave her alone I'm worth that cost

You lied when you said never again
You don't realize I know where you've been

My Fear

2008-02-09T07:18:00.001-06:00

What I fear is that this is who you've always been
That my shattered dream will break our hearts again
Looking back I wonder who you ever were
Are my memories of you just my selfish blur?

Do my dreams inmpose on my reality?
Am I seeing you in totality?
Are you just an illusion of my heart?
Did I ever know you from the start?

I tried so hard not to lose our connection
Not realizing it was your heart that needed protection
You tried to push me away but didn't know how
To make me leave without breaking your vow

Was I a fool to believe you were my destiny?
To expect you to have the best in me?
I gave my heart waiting for you to find mine
Refusing to see in your resistance a sign

Discouraging Sublimity

2008-02-09T07:17:00.000-06:00

Every act an altruistic one
Denying myself both comfort and fun
Just a lost soul with an amenable touch
Using you as an emotional crutch
Feeling the upsetting of my mind
Breaking my heart to be unkind
Surrendering to submission
With my soul in opposition
Doomed to an esoteric existance
I'll always keep my distance
Rarely suffering from enmity
I'm not content in anonmity
Hardly valiant and rarely vane
I struggle to keep my voices sane
With intuition that's seldom wrong
Turning vehmemence into song
I smother the sublimity of my mind
Which keeps me in a torturous bind
Quick to believe slow to forget
Trusting has been my biggest regret

Sitting in solitude

2007-12-06T18:12:00.000-06:00

Sitting in solitude listening:
waves lapping at dock;
o'er moss covered rock.

Sitting in solitude watching:
a bird in dive;
a world alive.

Sitting in solitude smelling:
the scent of fish;
tonight's main dish.

Sitting in solitude touching:
cool water on feet:
the sand's prickly heat.

Sitting in solitude feeling:
warm sun on my shoulder;
I shall never grow older.

Sitting in solitude dreaming:
enjoying God's gift;
thoughts start to drift.

Reflection on a friendship

2007-10-08T04:48:00.000-05:00

My friend I have never let you down
We've giggle and gossiped and painted the town
You've been my friend when I didn't want one
We've traveled through both darkness and sun
You've been my companion through thick and thin
Through sisterly love and mild sin
On your support I thought I could count
Now I'm filled with fearful doubt
Now as I write my sorry lamentation
Our friendship heads for certain damnation
A hurtful decision to betray my trust
How can I consider your judgment just?
Of Christian values we all stray
That unfortunately is the human way
But I distrust our connection is so strong
That ever we could right your wrong

Let Me

2007-10-08T04:42:00.000-05:00

Let me ease your pain when you hurt
Let me be the only woman you flirt
Let me put joy in your heart
Let me from you never part
Let me hold your hand in mine
Let me on your love dine
Let me feel your tender touch
Let me love you oh so much
Let me be your everything
Let me make your heart sing
Let me with you laughter share
Let me with you our souls bare
Let me know just how you feel
Let me know our love is real
Let me always in your eyes shine
Let me know you're always mine
Let me be your one & only
Let me for you never be lonely
Let me always be your friend
Let me love you to the very end

Our Love

2007-10-08T04:41:00.000-05:00

Our love is kind
Our love is pure
A forever love
Of this I’m sure

A gentle touch
A soft warm gaze
Carries me through
Our toughest days

An honest heart
A truthful soul
A connection deep
And forever whole

Without you

2007-09-21T07:30:00.001-05:00

I hate this pain you've given me
why does it have to cut so deep
It disturbs my mind, and breaks my heart
and even robs my sleep

You promised me ever lasting love
then you took it clean away
Why is it you can't love me
What is it you can't say

My heart is waiting for you to come back
my mind still doesn't believe it's true
My soul feels like it's dying
All from the lack of you

Hurt Me

2007-09-21T07:27:00.000-05:00

Just break my heart
and throw it away
I'm better without it anyway

Blame me for your pain
and cut me deep
go on, take that final leap

Push me hard
and over the edge
make me fall off that ledge

Stab my back
and twist the knife
Take away my will for life

Hurt me until
it won't hurt no more
Only then walk out that door

I miss you

2007-09-21T07:18:00.000-05:00

I miss the way you smile
I miss the way you laugh
I miss the way you make me shriek whenever you slap my ass

I miss the way you talk to me
I miss our little jokes
I even miss the bickering like ancient married folks

I miss the love in your eyes
I miss your tender touch
I miss the comfort of your arms so very very much

I miss your sense of humor
I miss being by your side
I miss that you won't share with me these feelings you now hide

Anxiety

2007-04-25T07:21:00.000-05:00

Nervous confusion, land of delusion,

Panic attack, about to crack,
nervous meltdown, mental breakdown,
heart pumping, head thumping.
pulse racing, scared of facing,
quiet screams, dying dreams,
perfection, rejection, total undirection

Constant scared, unprepared,
confidence fleeting, heart skip-a-beating,
can't sleep, thoughts too deep,
high strung, hands are wrung,
feeling sick, air seems thick,
impending doom, monsters loom,
still can't eat, feeling beat, can't give in to big defeat,

Need order, pushed over border,
can't do right, goal out of sight,
prove them wrong, road's so long.
seems so quick, which to pick?
indecision, shattered vision,
unwarranted fear, shed a tear, danger always looming near.

Bohemian

2007-01-24T07:14:00.000-06:00

I measure my life in love not money

I measure my life in the love I give and the love I receive

I believe in creativity and individuality

I believe that everyone's thoughts and feelings are important

I believe in having an open-mind and expanding my horizons

I believe success is achieved by what we give, not receive

Remembering your hazel eyes

2007-01-19T07:32:00.001-06:00

Your eyes are sand
you make me feel warmed by the sun,
caressed by the calm sea
Your eyes are a rock flecked with gold
you are my anchor,
your solidness inspires me
Your eyes are grey steel
you lock me out to protect me,
an impenatrable door
Your eyes are electric
you excite me and leave me
always wanting more
Your eyes a green trees
tall and strong, only falling
if you are cut deep
Your eyes have captured my heart,
it's love forever yours
to keep

The Effects of Depression

2007-01-18T07:20:00.000-06:00

You once promised me a world
of candlelight dinner
What happened to the man who of
my heart was the winner?
Roses so sweet on the table
to find
What turned your soul so dark
and unkind?

I can still see you in there
beneath the sorrow and pain
In a cell dark and dismal
full of thunder and rain
A child hidden
from sunlight
Is there end
to your dreary night?

You need to make me believe
you still love me
The love I feel
I wish you could see
speak to me with your heart
tell me how you feel
Only then, my precious,
can I help you heal

A Poem

2006-11-28T07:34:00.000-06:00

The rain is falling outside as it is in my heart tonight.
The memories of you and me together no longer shine so bright.
As we walk this road apart you vow there's no turning back.
My heart cries out to stop you but still your possesions away I pack.

I sit and reflect why you could never hold me tight,
And how I cried and was alone on so many a dreary night.
Your life is taking you down a long, dark road that I'm too scared to follow.
I'm tired of the pain of your empty stares that make me feel so hollow.

I long for sunshine and brighter days, a heart as light as a feather.
No more storms and heart breaks through which I have to weather.
Your rejection of me is a hard, cold pill to swallow.
But in self-pity, I no longer allow myself to wallow.

Aquarium Fish

1992-12-16T22:13:00.001-06:00

My life is like that of
an aquarium fish
Trapped, in a tank, with no
way to get out on my own
Feeling the need to explore the
vast oceans, just out of reach
I'm always swimming around
and around in circles
All the people I meet are just
like aquarium fish too
Some are bright and lively, and
some are dark and dull

Daddy's Girl

1992-12-10T22:36:00.000-06:00

I remember sitting at the front
of the boat
peering down into the dark
cloudy water
looking for some lost treasure
that only a six year old would enjoy
You were sitting in the back
fishing pole in hand
Constantly telling me to be quiet
not to rock the boat
The whole day went by
it's just a blur in my memory now
But I remember how much
fun I had
Just to have you to myself
for a day

Dad

1992-11-22T01:01:00.000-06:00

The sand felt so warm under my
feet. I played on the little island
while you fished, lost in and
imaginary world.
Soon you decide that it’s time to
move on. We climb back in the
boat and float for hours. At
the time I thought it was
boring, but now I’d do anything to
do that again.
The last few years I’ve been so
mean and selfish, I pushed everyone
away, including you, who use to
be so close.
I know I use to say that it bored
me, and sometimes it did, but
I loved being with you, and
I’d do anything to have that back, Dad.

Shelter

1991-11-22T01:09:00.000-06:00

There is a place beyond a young
man’s wildest dreams.
A place where man has no eyes,
for there is nothing to see.
Where man has no ears,
for there is nothing to hear.
Where man has no mouth,
for there is nothing to speak.
In this place man has no body,
But still the heart, soul, and mind can exist.
This is not Heaven, yet it is not Hell.
And man does not question it,
for he can not speak.
Here there is no love,
for there is no one to love.
But yet there is no hate,
for there is no one to hate.
Here is only one,
But yet here are all.
There is no past,
Only the present.
There are not days,
But there are no nights.
And you are not dead,
But yet, not still alive.
You are one being,
Alone, but with others.
Unable to call out,
But they know you are there.
There is only acceptance to
What is to come.
-1991

Miles Apart

1991-11-22T01:08:00.000-06:00

So many miles apart
Every night I cry
Grief tearing at my heart
Tears fall from my eyes
Memories of yesterday
When we were together
And the things you’d say
I’ll love you forever

Deer Hunt

1990-11-22T00:54:00.000-06:00

The hunter awoke early in the morn,
To hunt down a buck, father of two just born.
But the buck, smarter than the hunter still,
Moves his family from the kill.
But the hunter, smarter yet,
Has a dog, named Old Bet
The dog hasn’t hunted in many a year,
Isn’t ready to trail the deer.
Running through the water and brush,
But then they stop with a hush.
The doe listened, what had she heard?
Was it a man, dog or bird?
Suddenly, there was a shot, the family turned and ran,
For they feared this old man.
Who, with his dog and his gun,
Chased the deer just for fun.
But this family ran for life,
The buck, his children, and his wife.
It was unfair!
Life to fun, but little did this man care.
Finally they found a place to hide,
The man gave up, not one had died.

1990-11-18T22:27:00.000-06:00

Open night,
starry sky,
me in your arms,
my love flies high.

Cold, gentle breeze,
blowing through my hair,
on top of the world,
without a care.

Waves gently lapping,
upon the rocky shore,
by each other's side,
now and forever more.

A whisper so soft,
a kiss so gentle,
sweet secrets we share,
never to tell.

Our feelings so deep
a strong love we share,
what we have is so special,
true love is rare

Forever

1988-11-22T01:06:00.000-06:00

Okay, I’ve made one mistake, maybe two,
But none of that should have bothered you.
We broke up anyway,
But were together the next day.
I need to know, do you love me?
It’s you I love, can’t you see?
They ask me how I put up with you…
“When you love someone, they should love you too.”
I say I love you forever,
Will you leave me? You say never.
You get mad over the littlest thing,
You act like I’m a peasant and you’re a king.
I love you, can’t you see?
Just do one thing, promise me,
You’ll love me forever,
And leave me never.